The Importance of Fellowship
A couple of weeks ago I decided to have lunch in the school cafeteria, which is always fun. In my case it was actually breakfast, as I typically eat later at some point after the 8:30 am Mass. The earliest lunch is actually at 10:30 for the youngest grades, so I microwaved my Jimmy Dean breakfast (two chicken veggie wraps with of course ketchup and sour cream along with a doughnut to balance out the food pyramid scale) and brought over some juice and milk and sat down at the table with some of the first graders. I was looked at first with some curiosity, but was quickly welcomed to the table.
It brought back some memories of one of the best parts of the day (when asked my favorite subject in school I’d probably say “lunch”). We’d sit at the table with our plastic lunchboxes (mine was “The Transformers”) and talk about appointment TV viewing, such as what was on the “A-Team” the night before, or talk about the upcoming kickball game to unfold.
But what it also brought to mind was how importance human interaction is, and how little of it we seem to have at times.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with electronic tablets. I’m using a laptop computer to write this article and technology is engrained in my life. I’ll check my phone all day off and on; I play my favorite phone-aps for a break, watch a video clip from some retro site to take me back to the 80s, or check the sports scores or latest news to see if the Vikings have gone out to get Cousins back. But being at the table which was phone-free, and “back to the basics,” it made me wonder if technology is taking over our lives. Meals by their very nature are social events. For instance every day, a number of our staff have lunch together and share conversation, and in a couple of weeks people will be enjoying a fabulous chicken dinner but hopefully also sharing some fellowship and conversation too.
Yes I am kind of addicted to that phone. But, I also try to remind myself technology is no substitute for real people; an actual conversation face-to-face; or spending time with people we care about.
One thing we all need to look at is the role technology plays in our lives.
According to an article “Could You Be Addicted to Technology” in Psychology Today by Dr. Shainna Ali, Ph.D., LMHC, some questions to consider are:
Have you noticed an increase in how often you use your device?
Have you felt guilty about how often you use your device?
Do you experience an urge to use your device?
When you are using your device, do you experience lift in your mood?
When you are using your device, do you experience a thrill?
When unable to use your device do you experience discomfort?
Have you noticed times in which it seems as though time was lost while you were in the zone using your device?
Dr. Ali notes that constant use of technology has now become normalized; “The toddler tinkering with a tablet, the teen locked away in their room tied to their computer, and the adult buried in their phone at a social engagement are just a few examples of ordinary use.” I’m not a psychologist, but “ordinary” in describing these things is a little disconcerting. I don’t see it too often at church, but I read about a priest in Spain who installed phone jamming equipment at his parish because things got so bad. (Thankfully not needed at Saint Joe’s).
It’s not just phones of course; some become addicted to computers, and it’s more common now for adults to play video games along with children and teens. These can be sources of entertainment, but if a person is playing hour after hour of video games rather than interacting with others, or going outside, it can become an addiction.
Human interaction though matters so much.
In the Gospel this week, from Luke 16: 19-31, we hear the story of the rich man and Lazarus; the rich man ends up in hell, and Lazarus in heaven. But the problem wasn’t the money; rather the problem is the rich man steps over Lazarus literally each day as he’s in front of his house, and never opens his eyes to see his needs to help him. His money has made him blind. Money can do that to us too, but so too can other things in our life, both tangible and intangible.
Technology is great, but maybe we can take a page from the daily experience of the school kids at lunch and be reminded of how important our connections to one another are, and strive to build them throughout the year.
So by all means, continue to use the smart phones, the Internet and play video games if that’s your thing. But just remember, they are no substitute for time spent with one another, meaning we all need to look at how much time we spend with our gadgets, and the impact technology has on our families and our lives. Look at how much time is spent with computer gaming and video games; how much you are able to have a family dinner and talk to one another; how often you use the smart phone to text and tweet when you are at dinner; and if you are having a conversation with someone, maybe look them in the eye and listen to them rather than looking at the phone in between sentences. Obviously too, make sure you aren’t using technology for immoral actions; if it is an occasion to sin, turn off the computer and put it away, or keep it in public spaces and only use it there. And parents, most of us survived just fine too without cell phones, so don’t be afraid to be a “meanie” by setting boundaries on cell phone use, and check that phone regularly because for as great as technology is, it can really cause problems for young and old when people venture to places they shouldn’t go online or misuse cell phone cameras.
Growing up when going out with my parents to a restaurant, I’d play kids menu games while waiting for food to arrive too, but once the food arrived, we’d talk, and we’d do more of that as a family too not just on special occasions. Remember that the perfect “app” for deepening our connection with one another is the gift of our time and attention, something God in His wisdom pre-loaded into our souls when He created us.
Have a blessed week!
Fr. Paul
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September 2025